Ohhhh, as a fellow mum of 3, this resonates. Another mum of 3 said to me the other day, "the hardest thing about the 2nd one starting school is that the 3rd one isn't starting school, and you drop off that 2nd and you realise how many years you have left in the trenches until things will start to feel easier." I really felt her words, because it is so hard when they're little. Three often is too much, especially when the screaming starts at the table, as you said. But I also wouldn't swap it for anything, because while it can be too much, it's also just enough. It's just hard to remember that sometimes when the day isn't going as planned. Amazing piece, thank you for sharing your thoughts
Thank you so much, Charlotte! Gosh, it's so true about dropping the second one off at school, especially since my middle started school soon after the baby was born. And yet, it definitely makes me appreciate the baby's babiness sometimes! So much of motherhood is this struggle to hold two feelings at the same time. Thank you again for reading and commenting!
So, I’ve only been reading your stuff for a little while now, but as I was reading the first part of this essay I wondered the question I wonder so often when I hear people talk about how hard parenting is….and then continue to have more: why?
But then I read till the end. And clearly that seems to be your why.
Henny, thank you so much for reading and commenting! I think the thing I'm striving for the most in these essays is nuance, the ability to recognize multiple feelings at once, and I'm really glad that seems to have come through for you.
I totally get that. If we couldn’t find the nuance in parenting it would be tortuous bouncing back and forth between joy and total despair and desperation 🤣🤣
Wonderful post. Your boys are lucky to have you as a mom. I think a lot of parents feel alone because they don’t want to admit some of the thoughts and feelings they have. It’s a blessing for long-time, new and future parents to read balanced perspectives like this. These words will help a lot of folks feel less alone.
Ohhhh, as a fellow mum of 3, this resonates. Another mum of 3 said to me the other day, "the hardest thing about the 2nd one starting school is that the 3rd one isn't starting school, and you drop off that 2nd and you realise how many years you have left in the trenches until things will start to feel easier." I really felt her words, because it is so hard when they're little. Three often is too much, especially when the screaming starts at the table, as you said. But I also wouldn't swap it for anything, because while it can be too much, it's also just enough. It's just hard to remember that sometimes when the day isn't going as planned. Amazing piece, thank you for sharing your thoughts
Thank you so much, Charlotte! Gosh, it's so true about dropping the second one off at school, especially since my middle started school soon after the baby was born. And yet, it definitely makes me appreciate the baby's babiness sometimes! So much of motherhood is this struggle to hold two feelings at the same time. Thank you again for reading and commenting!
You’re so right, there are so many conflicting experiences all at once.
So, I’ve only been reading your stuff for a little while now, but as I was reading the first part of this essay I wondered the question I wonder so often when I hear people talk about how hard parenting is….and then continue to have more: why?
But then I read till the end. And clearly that seems to be your why.
This was lovely.
Henny, thank you so much for reading and commenting! I think the thing I'm striving for the most in these essays is nuance, the ability to recognize multiple feelings at once, and I'm really glad that seems to have come through for you.
I totally get that. If we couldn’t find the nuance in parenting it would be tortuous bouncing back and forth between joy and total despair and desperation 🤣🤣
Hahaha so true! (And it sometimes is 🤣)
Wonderful post. Your boys are lucky to have you as a mom. I think a lot of parents feel alone because they don’t want to admit some of the thoughts and feelings they have. It’s a blessing for long-time, new and future parents to read balanced perspectives like this. These words will help a lot of folks feel less alone.
Thank you so much, Matt! I'm so glad it resonates with you and I do hope it helps other parents feel less alone!
Loved reading this- have two, go back and forth on whether to try for a third because of that anxiety
It’s very real!